1. Kitty cuddles. Many many many kitty cuddles. If Lamarckism were right, my descendants would inherit a kitty-shaped dent on their chest.

2. Finished reading "The Greatest Show on Earth: The Evidence for Evolution" by Richard Dawkins. Learned that we are fish, that we share a more recent common ancestor with rabbits than with cats, and that we get goosebumps because we used to have fur. Also, at least 40% of Americans are literally retarded.

3. Spent nine hours watching THIS, MOTHERFUCKERS:



YEAH. FUCK YEAH. WANT MOAR OF THAT SHIT. BITCH. Seriously, the amount of violence coming from those cars is un-fucking-believable. The shock waves pass through your body turning you to a viscous goo and all you can think is WANNA GO AGAIN WANNA GO AGAIN FUCK FUCK FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Never been? You have NO IDEA.

4. Got approached by a misguided US Army recruiter. Told him that a one-in-three chance of being raped was too low for me, and that I'd consider joining only if he could guarantee better odds of being assaulted by my co-workers. I don't think I helped with his confusion. Great success!

5. Went junk food-shopping for ^mrrste, who is apparently infatuated with American anti-nutrition.

6. Chased two mating raccoons down the street shouting, "RACCOON BABIES!!! NAO!!! BABIEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! " Raccoons did not notice but the neighbors have one more reason to keep their children away from me. Great success!